Alternately titled: Do I Really Want to be Like Jesus?
A few weeks ago, I was wading through some junk with a dear friend. Actually, she was wading through it with me. At any rate, we stumbled onto what we both found to be a very interesting concept. At the base was one simple question, “Do I really want to be like Jesus?”
“What about real, honest-to-goodness victims?” I said.
“I know, there has to be room,” she responded.
You see, we’d already established the basic rule for day-to-day forgiveness. We agreed that if she offended me, and I forgave her, our friendship would then be restored. From there we began mildly criticizing the late Tammy Faye (which probably makes us horrible people), who once said that she couldn’t forgive Jim while being married to him, and that the need for forgiveness was the real reason behind their divorce. She once said, “For years I have been pretending that everything is all right, when in fact I hurt all the time.”
“Where’s the power there?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she answered. “But that’s a big enough issue. What about the bigger ones? You wouldn’t expect a grown child to befriend his abuser?”
“No, of course not. I would never expect that. But that’s really what I’m wondering I guess, cause Jesus would befriend them, right?”
“Well, yeah, I guess He would.”
“I mean, that’s exactly what He does…He befriends his abuser, accuser, cheating bride. He doesn’t forgive us from afar.”
And there was a long, reverent silence before I spoke again.
“I keep saying that I want a heart like Jesus…that I want to be a woman after God’s heart. But maybe I really don’t. That just sounds too hard.”
Whether I like it or not, God is calling me to a level of forgiveness that I never consciously aspired to reach. Over the course of these next few month, I will be sharing what I truly hope will be my life-changing journey with you.
Right now I’m still waiting, holding up my hands to receive as much grace as He will graciously rain down.
So that I can pour it back out again.
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