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Feb 282010
 

Today was Focus on the Family’s Focus on Marriage conference. What a blessing and what incredibly perfect timing for us in this season in our marriage. We were also able to get to know MckMama and Prince Charming a little better today, which was very, very fun.

To my left around the table are: Renee, Christy and Soapy, Sarah, Karina, and Jennifer

My favorite speaker today, by far (even though they were all wonderful), was Francis Chan (author of Crazy Love). What. A. Blessing. I wanted to track him down to ask him to pray over the two of us, but he must have slipped away before the close of the conference. If you weren’t able to attend a simulcast at your home church, I highly recommend finding something of Chan’s to listen to or read. He’s the real deal: sold out for Jesus. He spoke on how we should live as though we weren’t married (yep, at a marriage conference themed around commitment!). His point was that we should be single focused on the Kingdom on God. He urged us all to look at our marriages as tools through which we could more effectively further the Kingdom. I know that God wanted Papa Bear and I to hear those words today.

It’s not about Kingdom Twindom being happy and healthy; it’s about the Kingdom of God.

The rest of the conference (that was also supposed to be about commitment), hammered (to the point of absurdity – so obviously the work of the Holy Spirit) the importance of, and the principles surrounding, forgiveness. I learned many things today, so please don’t think that I didn’t, but I also heard numerous statements that made my soul scream, “That’s exactly what I’ve been writing about!!”

“That’s what I get nasty e-mails about…because I completely agree with that!”

“That’s the same thing I said last month that made a woman call me an idiot and tell me that my husband would cheat again and again and again.”

And wow, to hear those same things from such godly and wise men and women was extremely affirming. I’ve been questioning this little blogging project lately; but today, I decided: I’m just going to keep on writing about whatever I believe God is leading me to share. Period. No fear. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never (by the grace of God and the strengthening of His Holy Spirit) hurt me.

After the conference, we spent a little more time with Jennifer and Israel just talking and praying together. I shared with Jennifer about what I have allowed Satan to do to me through the negativity of mean spirited commenters (knowing she could relate in spades).

The whole conversation made us a little sad.

Just kidding. I just thought this picture was hilarious.

I woke up this morning feeling stressed, and I’m headed to bed now feeling abuntantly and exceedingly blessed. All in all, not a bad day…not a bad day at all.

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 February 28, 2010  blogging, friends No Responses »
 

This morning, bright and early, Papa Bear rolled over and with a twinkle that shone through squinty eyes he said, “Hey, if you asked a rabbit how he got around, what would he say?”

My groggy mind swarmed. For some ridiculous reason I really wanted to know the answer to his early morning riddle. I thought and I thought, and then I fell back asleep and started to dream about bunnies.

“Well?”

I startled awake. “I have no idea,” I whispered.

“IHOP,” he announced.

I laughed, because that’s what I do. And then I stopped mid-knee slap and said, “Wait, that’s not funny.”

“Whatever.”

“No, that’s really not a joke,” I insisted as I finally began to wake. “A joke would be something like, ‘What is a bunny’s favorite restaurant?’.”

“But that’s too obvious,” he answered, still grinning the grin of the half awake.

“No, that’s a joke. But you were just trying to plant the idea of pancakes in my mind, weren’t you?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Nicely done.”

“Thanks.”

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 February 27, 2010  marriage No Responses »
Feb 272010
 

 February 27, 2010  photo posts No Responses »
 

I finally met my sweet friend Jennifer this afternoon! In honor of the occasion, and because I’m at my mom’s and completely high on chocolate cake, I think it’s as good a time as any to set my typing fingers to a Stream of Consciousness post. First off, I discovered that I can’t spell consciousness…or that I can, but it looks so wrong that I think my Google spell checker is broken. I love MckMama’s Stream of Consciousness posts because they remind me of the free-writing initiation that I used to put my kiddos through when I was tutoring. I wrote a creative writing curriculim right out of high school and tutored homeschoolers online for a year or two…and now that I’m thinking of it, I think I should do that again.

Anyhoo…I met MckMama today and I have not one single photo to show for it! But never fear, we’re also going to the Focus on the Family Marriage Simulcast on Saturday…and I’m going to put much more effort into the photos then.

We decided to leave from Red River this morning. We were originally going to leave last night, but Cuddle Bug had been a little sick, and so had I, and we weren’t one-hundred percent sure that we were going to make it until this morning. I woke up at six a.m., not a single stitch of packing done, and told myself, “If we can get on the road by ten, we’ll make it there just in time.”

So, of course, we left at ten-thirty. And we drove through an unexpected (to us) blizzard. But we still made it ten minutes under the buzzer. And I’m convinced that God actually made the drive shorter because we even stopped at a drive-through for lunch (and then parked outside the same restaurant to take the kids in to pee). I told Papa Bear I didn’t want anything because I really just wanted to get there. So, he ordered me an enormous guacamole and bacon burger. I opened the lid of the box and said, “Oh, great. Can you say fat?”

Papa Bear responded, “You don’t have to eat the whole thing.”

To which I returned a dumbfounded stare and said, “Ummmm…yes I do.”

As soon as we walked through the door, Jennifer and I spotted each other. It made my whole week to see that she knew my face just as well as I knew hers. One-sided friendships really aren’t much fun, but under the circumstances of this crazy blogging world, I certainly would have understood (after all, thousands of people are not clamoring to be my friends and I can’t even imagine what that must feel like). But Jennifer and I have shared many of each other’s ups and downs over the past several months, and it was enormously fun to solidify that friendship with a face to face meeting (Love you, J).

What’s MckMama like in person? Real. Which is exactly what I expected. The only thing that was different from what I expected was that I pictured her slightly taller than she is in real life. For some reason, I thought she was pretty tall. Now I’m really not sure why I thought that. Maybe because she seems “larger than life”. Prince Charming was spot on, though, and he really is very charming. I thought before, and now I’m convinced of it, that he and Papa Bear would be fast friends if we lived closer (it seems a little harder for men to connect via the internet, doesn’t it?). I was like a neurotic mom on a play-date, “Hey, honey, Israel ice fishes. Isn’t that awesome?!” And actually, he did think that was awesome. Maybe they’ll discuss ice fishing during the session breaks on Saturday.

For the first half (or so) of the MckGathering, MckMama and Prince Charming answered questions from the pretty good-sized audience. Papa Bear asked her is she’d felt called by God to start her blog or if the calling had come later. I thought it was an awesome question (which she answered honestly and beautifully). He’s so smart like that (and so is she)!

Cuddle Bug was sitting on Papa Bear’s lap, and in the middle of Q&A I saw her whisper something to him. He nodded in agreement, and then she jumped off his lap and headed to the stage. Before I knew what was happening, she sneaked in between Jennifer and Israel and hugged Jennifer’s legs. After squeezing tightly, she climbed off the stage and headed back to her seat. As she passed me she blinked (because she can’t wink) and said, “I’m not shy.”

After the Q&A, we all took a group photo. I cannot wait to see the picture. There were soooo many small children in it! After the group photo, three women approached me and said they had read my blog. We live in a fairly remote area (and because I have a pretty small audience), so I have never had anyone recognize me from my blog. Even in a group of bloggers and blog readers, that was still pretty fun.

Now I feel like this is getting ridiculously long, so I’m just going to stop it short. I’ll say more, and with pictures, after Saturday.

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 February 26, 2010  blogging No Responses »
Feb 252010
 

I sat for awhile trying my brilliance,
Things rushing through my head.
I sat down determined to inspire myself,
But I’ve bored myself instead.
I stared at an intimidating page of white,
Thinking it hollow but finding it pure.
No mistake had been made yet,
And although one was sure to come,
The page of white was ready,
To be filled, molded, and made.
I’ve sat trying my brilliance,
But learning from a blank page.

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 February 25, 2010  poetry No Responses »
Feb 242010
 

God has decided to show me just how right He is.

Which is fine, I know I need the reminder from time to time.

So, remember how sad I was that I wasn’t having a third set of twins?

After only seven hours with my neighbors’ baby (who is a doll but is fussy from yesterday’s flu shots)…

I cannot, for the life of me, remember how I did this.

Two babies are officially hard.

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 February 24, 2010  mommyhood, twin stuff No Responses »
 

I don’t even know why I’m here. It seems like I should post something, but nothing is coming to mind. My eyes are wet and red and swollen, and I haven’t even begun to cry. Not really. Mostly, I’ve just been burying my head in my hands and muttering things like, “Really, God? Really?”

We left our little trailer last summer, and when we moved we also left the most wonderful neighbor anyone has ever had. We shared a yard, our back windows facing her front porch. She was weak, and she knew it (but she hated it). Her trailer was a million degrees (so I ventured in only in layers), and we knew she loved us because she’d knock on our window without first putting on her hair.

Rose loved Jesus fiercely. Her teenaged son introduced her to Him seven years ago, and it was shortly thereafter that she battled Cancer for the first time. And last night, after bringing her youngest son within two years of adulthood (which was her most fervent prayer), she went home to be with the Lord.

Goodbye, sweet friend. Your presence in heaven makes me even more anxious to get there. And I know we’ll all be together again soon.

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 February 24, 2010  friends No Responses »