Kingdom Twindom +1

On my mind tonight after a somewhat rough day of parenting (which is always the case after more than a couple lazy days in a row) is submission to God through the act of parenting children. I’m not going to pretend that this post won’t read as slightly controversial, but it is not at all meant to argue stay-at-home mom versus working mom. I will always choose to be a stay-at-home mom who wears hand-me-down clothes, eats chicken and shares the family car with her husband. We live below what we silly Americans have dubbed the “poverty line”* because it is that important to me to home school and be the primary caregiver to my children. But, quite frankly, it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice to me because I just could not handle being a working mom and then coming home and parenting and homemaking at night. I mean, I’d do it if I had to. But it wears me out just thinking about it! So, kudos to everyone who is doing what they need to do for their own family.

*as I write this I am drinking from a tall glass of pollution free ice water -with lime, eating from a bag of potato chips, typing on my personal computer which is online via our personal internet connection…and in the background, “Fools Rush In” is playing on our t.v. thanks to Netflix.

There seems to me, from my somewhat unique experience as the resident of a tourist town (where people are constantly coming and going from all over the country) to be two very different types of parents. There are all kinds, of course, but I think those types can be categorized into two broader types. Seriously, I warned y’all there might be controversy here. I made the above point before jumping into what will follow because I have met many stay-at-home moms who fit into the second category and working moms who fit into the first. Basically, though, there are parents who see me walking down the street with my five and, through ear-to-ear smiles say something like, “Oh, wow, you are so blessed!” And, then, there are others who either blatantly pop off about how, “birth control is an option!” (which, for us, many forms of birth control are simply not), or they (while gluing recently pulled hair back into their balding scalps) utter a tired, “Oh, good grief. I thought I had it bad.” Of course there is also the old, “You’ve got your hands full” line, but that one can be said through a smile or a frown.

What’s my point?

Before my engagement to Papa Bear, I gave little thought to my future children. Being a mother was not something I ever needed to be. Quite frankly, my dreams were a little too selfish to make room for one child let alone five or more. I know now, though, that God knew I needed to taste the death of my own flesh. I needed to give my life to someone who whined and threw fits and took utter and complete advantage of me daily. I needed to see myself, vividly and painfully, in what I loved and detested in my offspring. I needed to see God in my love for them. I needed to be a parent. But parenthood itself would not produce the character in me that He was after. Submission to the hardships of parenting would. And, through submission to the hardships has sprung overwhelming joy.

It’s really all in your perspective.

I have bad days, bad weeks, bad months probably wouldn’t be an exaggeration. And I don’t always fall asleep thanking God for how He’s rendered my flesh and molded my spirit that day. But, more often than not, that is exactly what I do.

It’s through parenting that I’ve learned to repent second by second. It’s through parenting that I’ve revisited the brevity of life that I only really taste when terra vita is hard. It’s though parenting that I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone and materialism. Oh, how I needed to be a parent!

I truly believe that the sacrifice of these few fleeting years is a once in a lifetime shot. I have thrown myself in, head first, because I desperately want all that God has planned for my heart and life in this season. The world needs evangelists and I’m happy to help further the Kingdom by bearing children. But, at this point anyway, my parenting is making a better person out of me.