I have such a story to tell you, it’s hard to know where to start. I haven’t known how to blog anything significant for the past three months because, apart from writing a book, I’ve been waiting for the green light on this post. I feel like I have that, now.
On the 15th of February, I was minding my own business, lounging on Bossman’s couch with a cup of coffee, when God told me to write a book–a devotional–on forgiveness. Y’all know that the topic of forgiveness is near and dear to my heart, so I was immediately excited! He even gave me the title, which is lovely–you’ll have to wait for the official release to know more, though. I promise that will be very soon.
Papa Bear was in the room, and as I heard “clues” in my spirit regarding the book, I immediately relayed them to him. As outside my own body, I heard myself say, “And I’m supposed to write it from the first of March to the thirty-first of March…and then publish it a few months later!” What?! How on earth was I supposed to write a book in 31 days while homeschooling, parenting, packing, and moving?! Impossible. I must not have heard from God.
Still, the excitement lingered so intensely that I couldn’t shake it. I kept telling people about it; I couldn’t help it. This was going to happen, somehow. But on the first of March we were just barely moved into our newest in the series of temporary housing. Papa Bear was getting his toes wet in his new business. Life was as chaotic as it has ever been. It was not the time to write a book, so I very sternly rebuked myself for thinking I could hear that clearly and specifically from God. After all, we all know that God does not ask people to do impossible things!
Ahem.
I could tell this story in such detail that no one would reach the end of this post alive. Instead, I think I’ll just skip ahead. I don’t know how it happened, I didn’t make myself a schedule or follow a plan, but when I stopped writing, when the book was completely unedited but finished, it was 12:05 on the morning of April 1st. It wasn’t until then that I was even fully convinced God had spoken to me. My mouth fell open, and then I dropped to my knees and I cried.
Of course, I then wanted to know if the book was any good, so I began dragging ladies from the four corners of friendship into a private focus group on Facebook. They read it, liked it, commented on it, and critiqued it. Now I understood why I was not instructed to publish it immediately after writing–or so I thought. My spare minutes were consumed with editing, planning, commissioning artwork, and taking pictures. There was not a single person on the whole entire planet I was mad at. I was ready to publish my book on forgiveness and change the hearts and lives of women everywhere!
And then my husband walked out the door.
When Papa Bear left, in December of 2010, I was shocked. We’d hit a rough patch, but I never dreamed he’d walk out. We were over four years removed from what had been the powerful destructive forces in our marriage. We’d survived so much and had overwhelming victory. I no longer felt that I was fighting for my marriage…I was enjoying it. Satan convinced my husband of the opposite, however, and that led to an eight month separation that I vehemently opposed and, at least in prayer, protested.
When Papa Bear came back home last summer, he wasn’t ready. And I knew he wasn’t ready, but I hoped God would continue to heal his heart as he lived in and led our home. I’m going to be very real with you here and risk dishonoring my husband, but Papa Bear never did allow God to heal him. So, sadly, when he walked out again in the second week of this past April, I wasn’t shocked. I was sad, but I wasn’t shocked.
Now, I know some of you are wondering what I plan to do about moving on. It is with fear and trembling that I tell you I am still not fully ready to give up on my marriage. And it’s with terror (because I hate confrontation), that I tell you the Bible does not–God does not–allow for Christians falling out of love simply for the sake of falling out of love. Love is effort, love is evident…true love is not an emotion. If the unbeliever departs, we [the immovable believer] are to let them depart. But the one in love with Jesus simply loves.
Yes, there are valid, more than valid, reasons for divorce! But people in love with the Lord Jesus do not get divorced due to lack of feelings. Not ever. That is the world’s doctrine, but it should not be adopted by the Church. I believe that my husband was created to walk with Jesus and be the vibrant and successful head of our home. I know that God has spoken that on several occasions. Do I know that Papa Bear will become a radically changed man after God’s heart and begin to seek God’s will for his life and for our marriage? No, I do not know that. If I say that I “know” that, I’m speaking out of faith–words of life–not out of delusion. I plan to continue speaking life for as long as HE empowers me to do so. But I do not “know” what the end result of my faith will be.
When I’ve thought about my marriage over the past few months, God has continually brought Mary, Martha, and Lazarus to my mind. Specifically, He’s reminded me of these few verses from John 11:
5When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” 5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, 7 and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
It was not in spite of, but because of Jesus’ great love for Lazarus and his sisters that he stayed away long enough for Lazarus to die. There can be no resurrection without a complete, coroner stamped death. And Jesus loves raising things [people, dreams, callings] back to life! Jesus’ words regarding her brother’s sickness must have made their way back to Mary. Her Savior promised that her brother’s sickness would not end in death, so her mind probably swam in dark circles as she wrapped his body and relinquished him to the darkness of their family tomb. When Jesus finally arrived, she wept at his feet when what she wanted to do was grab Him and shake Him…making sure He fully felt her pain. “Jesus, if you’d only been here!!” she wailed, still cautiously hopeful that He’d come to help. And He had, He always does, but before raising Lazarus from the dead, Jesus wept. He feels every ounce of our pain!
Currently, I’m planning to accept my marriage’s death with a certificate of divorce (one that I will be filing). I am still hopeful for a resurrection, but what God does with my hope is up to Him. I am willing, and I will trust Him, either way. I now know more confidently than ever that I do hear Him. And it is that voice, and that voice alone, that will guide me from here.
Needless to say, there was a pause in the progression of my book after Papa Bear left. A few pages would even have to be rewritten to reflect what was now true in our home. But somehow, after just a few days of freeze tag, my muscles burning from standing so still, God reached down and pressed play. I begin to watch life move and grow all around me, and I realized something I might never have known in a happy marriage: I had fully, finally forgiven my husband. I had fully, finally learned how to forgive.
And, based solely on the things written in Jesus’ manual, I’d written it all down in a book.
P.S. While I love to hear from you and would always regret closing the comments, this is a place for encouragement and exhortation. I have many people, as I hope you all do, who have the authority to speak into my life directly and in person. Please understand that the comments section of a blog is not the place for directive or instructive comments. Additionally, disrespect toward my husband will not be tolerated. Based on this criteria, all comments will now be moderated by an outside party. I hope you will understand.
84 Responses to “Mary, Martha, and Me”
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Somehow I’m just now seeing this. I’m so sorry, Sarah. Praying for all of you.
Thank you.
Sarah, I have been wanting to comment or email you for a good long while now, but just never have. I am sorry to hear about you and Brian, and will be praying for you and the kids.
) I remember feeling sad for you at that time– I belive you were separated from Brian at that point. It got me thinking about my own husband and the naive thought, “that will never be me” probably popped in my head.
I would like to share a little bit about my story and how you have impacted my life. In January 2011, I remember sitting on my couch reading a blog post that you wrote. In it, there was the phrase (forgive me if I don’t get it correct but it was something like: “How can i not forgive my husband when I have been forgiven. God is his judge, not me” (it was something to that affect.. i couldn’t find the specific post even though I just spent about 1/2 hour looking for it
Fast forward a few weeks later… (this is all while pregnant) my husband goes on a work trip with everyone from work. The Sunday after he got home we were on our way to church and were fighting about lack of intimacy in our marriage. He wanted more, I was honestly disgusted at the thought. I knew we had grown apart at this time, but I honestly NEVER thought he would cheat on me. After church, the argument picked back up, and through the course of it, I found out that he was having an emotional affair and that it had started to turn physical while he was gone with his coworkers.
This sounds bizarre to someone who has not been in my situation, but this affair (while an awful, horrible thing) has given our marriage new life. What Satan tried to ruin and destroy, God has turned for good. After the affair was found out, I had such a peace about my life. My world was crumbling around me, but God was there for me. I thank you for your sharing how you forgave Brian because your attitude towards him gave me an example to model myself after. I don’t know if my heart would have been in that position to forgive if I had not read that blog post (literally) weeks before. My husband is a godly man who made a mistake, and our marriage has been pieced back together with help from a counselor, your honesty, and God. I just thought that it might do your heart glad tonight to read that you helped me in knowing how to pick up the pieces. Thanks for following God and sharing how to do so.
Laura
I am incredibly humbled by this. I really don’t know what else to say, but your words mean more than you may ever know.
I am a long-time reader of your blog, but I have not ever commented (I think). I was just drifting along in my life a few years ago when I found your blog. Your unfailing faith, through the tough times and good ones, gave me a jolt and reminded me that there is something more out there. I hope it doesn’t sound trite, but you’ve given me inspiration to be content with my faith, no matter what others say or think. I thank God for my life and the lives of my family members. So, thank you for that.
That said, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time in your life.
Yes, there is something more out there…for all of us, He’s got a never ending, wonderful supply of “more”. Thank you, so much, for your prayers!
Oh, Sarah. I’m so sorry to hear this news. My heart breaks for you all. Your strength, faith and obedience both inspires and convicts me. I’m truly praying for your family and I really look forward to your book. May God bless your obedience, comfort your children and heal your husband. I pray you find joy and peace in the arms of the Bridegroom.
“For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.” Isaiah 54:5
Thank you, Rachel.
I’ll be saying many prayers for you and your family as you head down this new path. You are strong and you have God behind you. I know that your future is bright with or without Papa Bear. Forgiveness is a powerful thing and frees your heart. I will also pray for Papa Bear- that he will find peace and forgiveness within himself.
Thank you, Dawn.
Sarah, I’m sorry that you are dealing with a husband leaving -again. And I’m very sorry that your children are dealing with what must be a very confusing situation. I have often, admittedly, thought that the back and forth, pray daddy home, waiting for your husband to return situations must be so confusing to your children. One day, daddy is there and present and the next, he’s gone again and they are asked to pray him home. You and I live very different lives. And I have a very different opinion on some of the choices you’ve made in regards to your marriage. But that’s ok! It doesn’t make me right at all and it doesn’t make you wrong. It comes down to what works for you and what you feel in your heart you desire to do with the situations that life has handed to you.
That said, I wonder something. I hope you don’t take this offensive because that is SO not my intent. Actually, it’s something I am curious about and have been for quite some time after reading your story. It isn’t meant to bash ANYONE. It is simply a mom (me), asking another mom (you) a question about something you have chosen to share with the world and that you have been very open about (in regards to you and your husband’s story)… But, I’ve wondered: How would you feel if your daughter had married a man who left her multiple times? Would you encourage your daughter to pray him home? Would you encourage her to keep waiting for him to return? Or would you feel like she deserved better? Or that she should move on? I ask because, sometimes, the things that are right for me (or that I feel are), might be different from the things I would encourage my children to do. I personally would *never* encourage my daughter to wait for a man while he decides if he wants to be with her. I feel like my daughter needs to KNOW that she is way better than that. And that she deserves much more. That is simply my opinion on the situation -and my take on it if I put myself in your shoes for a moment to try to see where you are coming from. But, I’d love to hear your take on how you’d feel if it weren’t you in the situation, but instead one of your daughters.
I will pray for you and your family. I promise I mean no disrespect with any part of my comment. I’ve just long been curious how you’d react/think/feel if it was happening to one of your daughters instead of to you. Thanks for reading my long comment! Best of luck to you all.
That’s a great question! And, of course, I’d feel they “deserved” so much better than that. That’s why it is so important to me to teach my children that they can hear from God, though. Nothing about my situation has ever made me feel that I don’t deserve a loyal and committed husband. My self-esteem, though initially wounded when my husband cheated six years ago, is no longer bruised by any of this. I know that sometimes my words are taken differently than I mean them…but in all the time I’ve spent “praying my husband home,” I’ve never prayed the words, “Jesus, please bring him home [to my home] quickly.” I am praying for my husband’s walk with the God *he* claims to serve. Because PB’s life does not reflect what he says he believes…in many ways…and I so badly want him to find the joy and power than comes through Jesus. And yes, I do believe that if he finds that, and I am still unmarried, that it would be wonderful if God would piece back together our home. That’s how I’ve always felt, actually. Though so closely remembering him the way he’d been for four years, I hoped his time of confusion/depression would be short-lived. And because of that, I truly believed I would be waiting for that to happen. Now, I’m simply hoping for that. I know it doesn’t seem that way because I took him back so quickly last summer, but that [taking him back] was the thing that brought him back into the town where his children live. That was the only reason I allowed it. I can’t really say that I regret my decision about that (even though I’ve firmly decided not to repeat it).
I hope I’m answering your question! Ha. My parents are a great example of an answer to your question, actually. They taught me to hear from God, and though they don’t like what is happening, they trust me and my relationship with Jesus. Though I haven’t let him come back and leave and come back and leave–IMO–our first two separations are four years removed from each other, and he was a good husband and father during those four years. I think that’s important to note, and I think my parents would have something to say about that! My parents fully support that my willingness to wait and pray, to move only when God tells me to move, because it lines up completely with the Book we follow. They understand that I have accepted this as a calling from God, and that it has not affected how I feel about myself or my worth in this life. I hope I would handle the situation exactly the same way if it affected any of my children, and I believe that I would.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment…I hope I’ve returned the favor!
I am sorry your journey is taking you down this road. But having read your blog for a long time now, between the last difficult journey you went through and this one there is a different how do I say vibe about you now. Stronger perhaps? I am overwhelmed at what God had you do with your book and realizing that you have finally truly completely forgiven your husband. That is huge, more than many other people would have done. Your heart is beautiful. I pray for you and your family during this time, and I can’t wait to see what God does next.
Leah, yes, I think stronger is accurate…maybe in a been there done that kind of way.
I know what God can do, and how He provides. I think I’m resting in that for the most part. Thank you, I really hope you will be blessed by the book! 
So sorry to hear will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You are an amazing example of courage and faith. While you fail your ability to be honest and admit your moments of defeat and clarity on how to rise above is amazing. Praying for your and your family!
Thank you, Jasmine!
I sense great strength and confidence in your post. I’m sorry for this path, but clearly God is with you on it. I’ve walked these very same steps and want to encourage you that our Lord is so faithful! I’m grateful you are near to your family and I look forward to hearing more and more of the unfolding of your family’s story.
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Missy! I appreciate that!
Kingdom Mama,
When I first started reading your blog, I was drawn to your story because it was shortly after a time of pain in my young marriage. My husband’s cheating was in the form of explicit text messages with another woman. While I’m grateful that there was no physical cheating, it broke my heart nonetheless. I drew such strength and support from your sharing and courage, and I am happy to say that my husband and I are now happier and closer than we have ever been. I definitely feel like your messages and spirit and how open about love and forgiveness and Our Savior have been behind the transition in our marriage. I find myself praying for you and your family most often when I don’t see a blog post (yeah, I check every weekday!) just in case you need it. I will be praying a little harder today for you and Papa Bear and your children. I hope that knowing the love and concern and support of your followers – even if you don’t “know” us – makes your decisions a little easier to bear. May His love and comfort wrap you up and protect you!
Much love and prayers always!
Wow, Kristen, wow! That means SO much to me!
I wondered what was happening when your blog posts changed. Your family has been in my prayers.
I’ve emailed you after my husband left. We haven’t reconciled, we were close, counseling was going well, then things went to the way they were. At the point I don’t see a reconciliation and although I’m sad and don’t feel single over the last few weeks I have realized I’m happy, I’m enjoying my kids and have joy back. I hope whatever happens (or doesn’t) you will have continued peace and JOY
Ang, I’m sorry you are in this place but so happy for the “place” you have found within it!
It’s wonderful to be in His will, even in the midst of the chaos…isn’t it?! 
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will be praying for you and your children.
Thank you for your prayers.
I don’t know what to say, except that I’m sorry and your family is in my prayers. I guess I just like happy endings too much, because I didn’t see this coming. Other commenters said they thought something was wrong, but I guess I’ve just been too caught up in my own life, and was happy with your “happy ending” and never thought about it. Anyway, my heart broke for you and your family when I read this post. Stay strong, and definitely keep on listening to God. I’m always amazed at how clearly He speaks to you, and a bit jealous.
Also, I cannot wait for you book!! 
Oh, Lois, I wish I heard Him so clearly everyday. That’s the goal, I guess.
Thank you for loving happy endings. I love them, too. 
Sarah,
I am so sorry that you and the kids are dealing with this again. I’ll keep you all in my prayers. You continue to inspire with your faith and love. (((Hugs)))
Tara
Thank you, Tara.
Sarah,
So very sorry…was so hoping things would be truning the corner for you as you moved on from Bossman’s house…your faith in both the Lord and your marriage are beautiful although the tone of this post is much different than that of those wrtitten after the first separation…more mature, more resigned. I have always loved reading your honesty and rawness…was missing that, but can totally understand your desire to keep some things to your self…so glad that you can go back to that honest, raw posting though…it makes me think, holds me accountable and really touches my soul. My heart hurts for you and Brian, but also for your little ones, I know as a Mother myself that you would do anything to protect them from harm and it cannot be easy to help them understand all of this…my prayers are with you….
Love and Prayers from Perrysburg,
Melanie
Thank you, Melanie.
Although, I do think I disagree just a little bit that my outlook now is more mature or resigned (not trying to turn my nose up at a compliment! Ha!). I’m taking a road now that makes a little more sense to the world, but only because I feel God is leading me here. If He’d asked me to walk this path before, I definitely believe I would have done it. Let it be known, I’m just as “silly” and blindly willing to follow my God as I have ever been. Hehe. I appreciate SO much that you have missed my posts. I have missed posting! I hope I can remember how to do this!! 
Sarah,
Honestly, I sat at the computer for a long time searching for the words to describe WHAT your post sounded like and those were the best words I could come up with…I WAS happy though to read though that you haven’t given up on your marriage OR your husband. The entire paragraph you wrote on LOVE and that true love is not an emotion is exactly how my Mother explained it to me 25 years ago….LOVE is not always easy, it is not the mushy, gushy happy endings you read about in the Harlequin romance novels where the man says and does the right thing in the end to get the girl…LOVE can be hard work, compromise, going to bed angry so you have time to cool off and not say something you’ll regret, sacrifice, and sometimes LOVE is letting go. Love and happiness is a CHOICE we make everyday. And Forgiveness? That’s something we do for ourselves, not for the other person, because it takes a lot of energy to hang onto the reasons we were angry and hurt to begin with.
I would never think that you were taking a particular “road” just because it was one the that made more “sense to the world.” One of the things that draws me to your blog time and time again is that you stand strong in your Faith, even when it may NOT be what is “popular.” Yet when you blog, it is not in a way that is in that “high and mighty, look-at-me I’m better than you! -because-I’m-a-Christian-and-you’re-not!” tone. You do it in a way that makes me want to be better, do better, act better as a wife and a Mother. So, while there may be others that will say you are doing this because you are finally seeing the “light” I have NO DOUBT that you are simply following what God is telling you to do. I also have NO DOUBT that if and when God sees fit, you and Brian will find your way back to each other and when that happens your reconciliation will be fantabulous!! Until then, you will keep on, keepin’ on only this time you KNOW you can do it, because unfortunately you’ve had practice AND you have the Lord on your side!!
Obviously, there was a reason God called you to write a book on Forgiveness….you are an amazing woman Sarah and an amazing Mother…I look forward to many more “talks” with you!!
Love ya!
Melanie
Thank you, Melanie! And I with you.
I think you have a very appropriate outlook on this and although some people might find it “odd” I don’t. There are some things you can control, and others you can’t. Other people and their hearts, not so easy to control.
Anyhow I wanted to say that I find it really great that you made it clear that you will not tolerate bashing of your husband. I think in times when these things happen, friends like to rally around and they often will bash the other party who has caused harm. I’m sure they think this is helping but I found myself and still to this day when my ex-husband is spoke about in a bad manner, that it’s far from helpful and rarely makes me feel better.
Just because my ex has done some horrible things, it doesn’t mean he deserves horrible treatment in return. And treating him horribly has never made me feel better or feel vindicated for what he did.
Thank you, Pamela! You are so right…”husband bashing” never makes the wronged wife feel better. Thank you for encouraging me!
Sarah, I love your honestly written post and what God is doing in your life! God brought me to your blog several years ago, and it has had a huge impact on my life. God is truly working through you for his kingdom!
Reading this post made me thing about Corie Tinboom’s book The Hiding Place, where she talks about how often things fully die before God steps in (like with Jesus on the cross). It sounds like God is showing you the same thing. I don’t know what it will look like when Jesus steps in and uses this for his glory (though in many ways he already has), but I’m hoping for a fully healed marriage
- Heather
…”though in many ways he already has” THANK YOU! I need to remember that. And thank you for praying for more!
I’m so sorry Sarah. Keep the faith but take care of you and your children. I’ll pray for you guys
Thank you, Sandy!
I know that you have taken so much criticism over the past several years in regard to your marriage. I have seen people accuse you of being blind and naive to what is happening or imply that you were a doormat. I don’t see that. What I see is a strong woman who is in love with God and who knows that He can do things that are above our ability to make happen or even understand. I don’t think anyone can really offer advice that is not there and does not know you or your story. That said, I am going to offer my small piece of advice. Continue to surround yourself with Godly people and counsel and guard your babies hearts. I will be praying for you and thinking of you.
Kathleen
GOOD advice!! Thank you, Kathleen.
I’m so sorry Sarah. Your faithfulness continues to be an inspiration. Praying for a miraculous healing in your marriage.
Thank you, Amy!
Like many others, Sarah, I had a feeling that things weren’t as they ‘should’ be. I have been praying for both of you every night during my nightly prayers with the children.
Back in October, I emailed you about our similar situations. I tried, I really did. To say things didn’t improve is an understatement. He walked out on us on March 1 – the day you were to begin your book. I, too, am now filing for divorce. Do I believe God can heal my husband? Absolutely. Do I believe God wants us to live under threats and abuse in the meantime? Absolutely not. It took me a long time, but I wrote a post of my own (http://wp.me/pGS6b-ai). I am not nearly as eloquent as you; and my faith is not as developed as yours, but I felt a need to be real.
Our stories/lives are so similar. I wish we didn’t live on opposite coasts, as I would love to exchange hugs! You have my continued prayers and virtual hugs.
Thank you so much, Heather! I will continue to pray for you, too!
I too experienced that heart-sinking feeling reading this post. Praying for you and him and the kids.
Thank you so much for your prayers!
[...] dear, sweet, Kingdom Mama is going through a heart-wrenching death of her own. I (we) believe in resurrection for her too, and I believe that God is using her story to teach me [...]
I’m praying for you, Brian, and those beautiful babies. Such a sad post to read. Praying for healing and God’s direction to guide you always. Thanks for being so real. You are such an encouragement in walking with Jesus and not hiding behind the wall of perfectionism we all like to put up.
Oh, yes! I’d be tempted to put up those walls, too…but mine keep on falling down.
Thank you for your prayers!
I just knew something wasn’t right, but was hoping that ‘it’ wasn’t that. You have got to be one of the strongest women I ‘know’. I am specifically praying that you and your sweet kids will …sorry I’m crying…..I am just praying and hoping that you and the kids can get through this. My heart is breaking for you!
Thank you so much, Marie…to be loved enough to invoke tears is truly a blessing, indeed!
My prayers and thoughts are with all of you. Your honesty has helped me in many ways today. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being real.
prayers, love, and hugs
Thank you, Ang! I won’t stop being real…as humiliating as it is at times, it’s often the only thing I feel I can offer. So thank you for that. It means a lot to me.
Oh man, I am so sorry to hear this. I’m praying it doesn’t come to divorce but I know God’s in control. If you need anything please say so, the body is here to help!
Thank you so, so much for your prayers!
I pray every morning and evening for you and your family, not knowing but feeling what was happening. You all will continue to be ever present in my prayer life.
judy from the East coast
Wow, Judy, I am so humbled by that! Thank you for taking us in in such a real way. Let me know if I can be praying for you.
Your unconditional love and faithfulness to your husband continues to inspire and teach me how to treat my own husband. Without your “teachings”, I think I would have thrown in the towel long ago, but I continue to look to the bible and your blog for clarity and wisdom. Thank you! I will continue to pray that your Brian turns his heart to Jesus. I KNOW God has great things planned for you with or without a husband.
Oh my goodness, Sarah (Sara?)! Thank you so much! What a privilege to be allowed to serve God in a way that blesses you!
As I read this my heart broke for you but only for a moment. Quick two verses flooded my spirit and I do believe it was from the Lord. The first one was Ps. 30:11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. The second verse was: Haggai 2:9 The glory of the latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the Lord of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the Lord of hosts… I shall be praying for ALL of you. Love you!
Always! You are always such an encouragement to me through the Lord, Irene! Thank God for you!
Praying for you, my friend. LOVE the topic of forgiveness and look forward to your book.
Thank you so much, long lost friend!!
I’m sorry to read what I’ve suspected for awhile. You’ll be in my prayers.
Months ago, I had a gut feeling and prayed I was wrong!:( I hope you never feel judged for the decisions you make regarding your marriage! Only you know what’s right, and while divorce may feel like the end, sometimes, it’s the path to a new beginning!! Papa Bear may be out of your home (for now), but he’ll never be out of your hearts and minds. Lots of love, hugs and prayers for you ALL!
P.S. I cannot wait for your book! I know so few people whose word I hang on, like I do yours! {{{HUGS}}}
Oh, Becky, thank you so much!!
Heartbreakingly beautifully written.
I Have hope for Brian, I have hope for the miracle of a resurrected marriage, but more than anything I have faith that our Father is going to empty his blessings upon you for your faithfulness. We are standing steadfast beside you. Love you, sweet Sarah.
Love YOU!! Thanks for everything you are to my life!
God bless you and all your faith. I know God will honor your prayers and make all things work together for good to them that love God. He is faithful and he hears your crys. Be strong for your children and keep them in church. We’ll keep praying for you.
Church, always!
I don’t think they’d let me keep them away even if *I* wanted to. Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers!
I am sorry for the loss you and your family are going through. You’re the type of woman who will face this with strength and dignity, and on the day that you feel like you can’t, you can let those around you hold you up while you gather your stores and rebuild your peace. The way you move through these difficult times with your chin up and your eyes forward shows such patience and wisdom.
Thank you so much! I appreciate you so much!
I’m a friend of Tiff’s, and found your blog through hers a while back. I prayed for you when Papa Bear left before, rejoiced with you when you posted that he had returned, and cried for you when I read this post tonight. Tiff is right…this post is beautiful, every word of it. Your willingness to submit to His plan, to lay yourself and your husband and your dreams for your family at His feet, whatever it may be and whatever it may personally cost you in the here and now…I can only imagine that God is going to bless you for that faith, beyond what you can even imagine. I believe in miracles, and I believe in the power of God to reconcile people to Himself and to each other, and I will be praying for that for you. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing not only your pain, but what God is revealing to you through it…you’ve given me a lot to think about. Praying for TRUE healing and reconciliation, and that God will comfort you and your sweet little ones as you wait to see what He’s got planned next.
Thank you so much. Jody! Any friend of Tiff’s…:) I appreciate your comment and your support to much!
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and my heart just dropped when I realized your husband left again.
I will be keeping all of you in my prayers.
To have someone else’s heart drop on my behalf is an awe inspiring thing. Thank you for loving and praying for my family!
Oh wow. I had a sinking feeling the past few months that he had left
. I have missed your deep posts! I am so sorry that you are going through this. And yet….I can hear the healing and peace (and forgiveness!) shining through your writing. I also just filed for divorce a few weeks ago. I had been in an abusive marriage for 9 years, and left with my young son 18 months ago. I waited and watched for the past year and a half as he promised to change, but it was clear to me in many ways that my husband also has not chosen to allow God to be truly central in his life. Making the decision to file for divorce was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I cannot say that I am as far along as you in being able to forgive him yet, but I know God will bring me there one day. I look forward to reading your book! Thank you so much for all you share with us.
Heidi, thank you! You know, I have missed posting the deep things, too. I feel unleashed, now!
Thank you for your encouragement! Let me know how I can be praying for your marriage/family!
DISCLAIMER: This comment might just turn into me babbling and my fingers vomitting all the words that I’d say if you were sitting on my couch. I apologize ahead of time.
First off, wow. So caught up in my life that I haven’t even been able to really check on you lately, and now THIS. I love you Sarah and offer myself as fully as I can from two time zones away (although with Max’s new job’s perks I might actually be able to visit you sooner than later.)
Next I’ll say that I just offered up a tearful prayer (I don’t think I realized how much I care about you until this very moment) and will continue to pray. You are still a major inspiration to me as a wife, mother and Christian and somehow all I can think is “Wow God, you are REALLY doing something!”
I’m glad that you’ve truly reached a place of forgiveness, I am still working on that and look forward to reading the book.
How have you been? How are the kids? How is Brian?
Oh, Mel! I love you! Thank you for loving me! And yes, you should come and visit! I’d love to finally meet you in person!
Still praying, sweet Sarah. We’re believing with you! And no matter what, we know that God works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Love you girl!
My sister! The way God ordered the timing of these past few months is nothing short of miraculous. Thank you for coming alongside me, freak-outs and all. I NEED every one of my lovely friends!
I love you.
This post is beautiful, and I am still waiting with you for the miracle!
Thanks, Tiff!